I often feel lonely
The nest is empty
We moved to the United States back in mid-January, 2019. On February 5th, Feyma and Chris started working at Tyson.
The house is very quiet during the hours that Feyma and Chris are at work. Frankly, I feel pretty lonely.
Life in the Philippines
For the nearly 20 years that we lived in the Philippines, there were very few times that the house would be empty.
There were always plenty of people around. Sometimes I longed for some “me” time, but now I am experiencing the opposite.
We have 3 kids, all boys.
Chris is our oldest son, he is now 27. Chris still lives with us here in Indiana. Chris works with Feyma (my wife) at Tyson. I enjoy spending time with Chris, but when he and Feyma are gone to work, I am alone here.
Aaron is our middle son. Aaron is 22 years old. Aaron lives in Atlanta, Georgia and he works at a bank. I try to talk to Aaron several times each week on the phone. However, I try not to overdo it on the phone calls, because I am sure that Aaron is enjoying developing his independence. I don’t want to stifle that.
Jared is our youngest, he is 19 years old. Jared worked in Alaska for about a year, but recently left his employment there, and has moved to Atlanta as well, and is living with Aaron. Jared has only been back in the “lower 48” for a couple of weeks now and is getting some rest. He is applying for work there in Atlanta. Again, I have been talking to Jared on the phone a few times per week. During his year in Alaska, it was hard to talk to him due to his work schedule, the remoteness of where he was, and so on. As he starts work in Atlanta, though, I will give him more space for his own things, and his personal development.
The two boys are planning to come up here to Indiana to visit us in May. I am really looking forward to that.
The two girls
While living in the Philippines, we took in 2 girls. Both of these girls are blood relatives, nieces.
Jean came to live with us when she was 7 years old. In 2017, she left to go out on her own, she was 21 years old. So, at that age, it was time for her to venture out on her own and get on with her life. Jean is in college now, and we do get a chance to chat on Facebook, but she is busy much of the time.
Nicole also came to live with us at the age of 7. She is 15 now. When we moved to the Philippines, Nicole went back to live with her parents. I try to chat on Facebook with Nicole whenever she is around.
The Evening Hours
Feyma and Chris are gone for their work for about 11 hours per day. I try to go out and do things during some of those hours. However, their shift goes from mid-afternoon until about 1:30 AM. They usually get home around 2 AM, sometimes later. I am not really a “nightlife” guy, I am more of a homebody. During the late afternoon, I usually do go out, though. I will go for a long walk most days, go buy some groceries if we need them, or whatever things need to be done. Sometimes Feyma might need me to go pick up something for her, and I am happy to do that.
But, usually, by the time that it is 6 or 7 PM, I am home, and I feel pretty lonely. I am just not used to being around the house by myself after having a house full of people in the Philippines for so many years.
After 7 PM or so when I am home, I usually do my work during those times. Writing. Working on websites. Working on product sourcing for Amazon and eBay. That kind of thing. But, while doing all of that, I just feel lonely.
Mostly, I miss kids
I have always loved kids, and there really are no kids around anymore. I guess that since 1991, when Chris was born, this is the first time that I have not had young kids around in the house, and I miss it.
I keep telling Feyma that I want to have grandchildren. But, none of our sons seem to be anywhere near getting married or having kids.
In the Philippines, for about 5 years, I was Santa Claus at a number of Malls and other venues, and I really enjoyed interacting with the children. I plan to do some Santa gigs here in the States too, and that is something I am really looking forward to. But, Christmas is a long time off yet.
The Empty Nest
In my entire life, I have never thought about the “Empty Nest Syndrome”. I guess I always kind of thought of it as a woman’s thing. But, I was doing some research about it earlier and learned that men experience it too. I can say that since moving back to the States (especially since Feyma and Chris started working) I am really experiencing the empty nest syndrome.
I really look forward to weekends, because Feyma and Chris are almost always off on Saturdays and Sundays. But, weekends go by quickly, followed by the weekdays of an empty house.
I find myself in a kind of strange situation, a place I have never been to before. I suppose it is part of the aging process. I don’t like it, though.
I suppose I need to develop more friendships
Probably I need to make more friends here locally. I have one very close friend, LeRoy. I have known LeRoy online for years, met in person for the first time about a year ago, and have been pretty constant companions for the past several months. LeRoy is always great to talk to or help me out in a situation that I might not fully understand (still adjusting to the cultural change of returning to the USA).
I also met another guy a couple of months ago, Jim. Jim is one of the bus drivers for the local public transportation here. One day I was riding the bus, and Jim and I were talking, and it turns out that we each lived within a few miles of each other in Louisiana back when I lived there. I was in High School at the time. Jim lives just up the street from me, and we already talked about having a barbeque together when the weather is more consistently warm. Jim seems like a good guy, and I would like to see our friendship grow closer.
I have met a few other people while riding the bus too, but just acquaintances, not a huge prospect for developing a friendship, I think. But, who knows?
If any of you reading this want to come for a visit… that would be great! LoL